1-5 DPO – This is TOTALLY the cycle! I can feel it! I’m relaxed and feeling optimistic.
6-8DPO – I’m feeling cramps and pinches. This MUST be implantation! Tests are still turning up positive, which means HCG from the trigger is still in me.
8DPO – HCG is out of my system! Yippee! Tomorrow is the day for a real test.
9DPO – Take a test. Do I see a line? Look at the test in natural light, in a photo that I took of it, in a tweaked photo that I took of it. Ask hubby. Ask random people online. I am crazy. Finally decide that indeed, there is NO line. BFN. Devastation. Tears. I know it is too early, but I can’t help the irrational sadness.
10DPO – BFN. Again. Starting to lose hope and crawl into my deep, dark place.
11DPO – My temperature is dropping and my boobs hurt. Another BFN. Feeling the same that I do every month at this time, which means I need to accept that this wasn’t the cycle. Give myself the big girl talk about force myself to let it go. Throw away my collection of this month’s dip strips.
I’m now at 12DPO and making plans for our next IUI cycle. Hubby is traveling for work starting this weekend, so we’ve decided to go the frozen sperm route this time around. Not feeling great about it, but also didn’t want to miss another cycle of trying due to travel schedules. I realize there is still a glimmer of hope at this point, but I’m also realistic. Curious to know if others become similarly crazy each month. I’m a ball of emotions from 6-11DPO, but then the second I feel/know I’m out, I’m ready to turn the page and move along with the next cycle.