Weekends on the Eastern Shore

I love when summer arrives and we get to spend long weekends on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. So much natural beauty and peace.

Just before sunset on the bay

Just before sunset on the bay

Hello Daisy

Hello Daisy

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Goodbye Clomid, Hello Femara

I had my cycle day 3 appointment this morning for my fourth IUI cycle. My RE is switching me from Clomid to Femara due to Clomid thinning my uterine lining. Last month it was at 6mm on day 11, and they want to see it at 8mm+. The tech saw 11 measurable antral follicles on my scan, so hoping that I don’t overstimulate like I did my first IUI cycle. The PA saying “oh my, now don’t you all grow” wasn’t exactly comforting.

Anyone have good or bad experience with Femara vs. Clomid? I didn’t have too many symptoms from Clomid besides some night sweats and being a little moody. I had to sign a waiver because Femara isn’t FDA-approved for use for ovulation induction/super-ovulation (it is a breast cancer drug). From what I’ve read it sounds like it is widely used with few side effects.

Trying to Keep the Faith

I didn’t make it to my beta. My period came yesterday, making this last cycle 27 days. I’m hoping the third IUI is the charm, because this may be our last low tech cycle. We’re meeting with my RE on Friday to discuss next steps if this IUI is a bust. I need to wrap my mind around the idea of IVF being the next step.

Keeping Busy in the Two Week Wait

We had our second official IUI on June 7 (third round of meds, but our first cycle was canceled). I went a little crazy toward the end of the two week wait last cycle, and this time I’ve been trying SO HARD to keep myself busy and sane! I’m now at 10dpiui and starting to feel down. I tested out my trigger shot yesterday, and today there was no denying it was a BFN. I wish I could stop testing, but I really don’t think I can. I’ve never been into surprises and like to have all possible information at my fingertips. I would much rather be prepared than wait for the dreaded call from my nurse to know if this cycle worked. Anyone else feel this way?

Here’s what I’ve been doing to try to keep myself busy the past 1.5 weeks:

Elliptical and Reading
I’ve been working out on our elliptical every other day. I miss running, but my nurse suggested taking it easy with exercise during treatment cycles. I have been getting a lot of reading done this way! Any summer reading suggestions?

New Bathroom
We’re in the beginning stages of remodeling our en suite master bath. I’ve been slacking on the planning, so hubby and I headed to the tile store to get some ideas and get the ball rolling.

Framing
I’ve been “working on” a photo gallery in our upstairs hallway for a very long time. I finally found some really interesting frames at Target (on sale!) and now I need to figure out all the photos. Will post pictures of the final product!

Travel Planning
We’re planning a trip to Scotland and Ireland for August with my parents and I need to get moving on the itinerary. I’m my family’s unofficial travel agent, which I secretly love, so I’m excited to get my travel guides in the mail and get to work.

Furry House Guest
This little cutie has been staying with us this week while my parents are on vacation. Don’t you just love old dogs? We’re getting a feel for what it would be like to have two dogs!

Toby the lab

Toby the lab

 

 

To the Dads and Wannabe Dads

Hubby after a Father's Day 4 miler

Hubby after a Father’s Day 4 miler

Father’s Day could be a rough day – a reminder of what we don’t have. But I’m choosing to celebrate my husband today for the amazing partner that he is (and of course daddy to our pup). Infertility makes it so very easy to think of the things that you don’t have and neglect to count your blessings. I’m incredibly blessed to have such a loyal, kind, hardworking, funny, smart, and supportive partner. Today I’m reflecting on the amazing father he will be to our future children. I can’t wait to see him in that role and know that he’ll be a natural.

Today I’m also thinking about my dad, who gave me life and has sacrificed so much for my happiness. He has been a strong and dependable force in my life, instilling values and but also showing me not to take life too seriously.  He is spending the day fly fishing and I’m so glad he is relaxing and taking time to do something he enjoys!

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads and wannabe dads out there!

Father-daughter dance

Father-daughter dance

The Things Infertility Steals From You

Sunrise from my window

Sunrise from my window

 

The Element of Surprise
If we do get pregnant, we won’t be able to experience in the same way as others the surprise that comes with finding out that we’re expecting. When we first started trying, I imagined that perfect morning when I would wake up and just “know” that I was pregnant. I would then take a test, which would be positive of course, and then think of a sweet way to tell my husband the amazing, life changing news. We would then get to think of fun ways to tell both sets of our parents that they would be first time grandparents.

While it will still be amazing news to share, our parents, siblings, and some friends know about our struggle with infertility. We lean on them for support and keep them updated on our treatment cycles, meaning we lose the element of surprise. That being said, when we do finally see a positive on a pregnancy test, I’m sure it will surprise the hell out of me!

The Ability to Plan
Invited to go away for the weekend with friends? Sorry, have to go to the doctor at the crack of down to have blood drawn and an ultrasound. Boss needs me to travel for work next month? Need to check my fertility app and get back to her. Want to plan a vacation to Ireland in three months? Have to consider if we’ll be moving on to IVF by then. Not to mention my plan of getting pregnant before I turned 30, which is laughable now. I’m a planner by nature and not being able to plan this huge part of my life has been very challenging.

Forward Progress
When we first started trying to get pregnant we put off a lot of things, thinking we would be expecting in the near future. We eventually learned that pregnancy wasn’t going to be something that we could plan, and are trying to learn that our lives have to continue to move forward while we wait. I always pictured my life with kids, and some days it is hard to know what to do with myself and how to reevaluate my goals, priorities, and the way forward.

On the plus side, there are a few things that infertility gives to you…

Appreciation for Science
It is very humbling to think that without modern medicine and infertility treatments, I might not be able to have a child. While I know this road can be long and painful, I also know I’m blessed to have so many options. If I was born a generation before, my options would have been very limited. Infertility has given me a deep appreciation for the amazing things that science can accomplish.

Stronger Bond with Your Partner (if you’re lucky)
When we got married and chose to share our lives with each other, I would never have imagined that we would have trouble starting the family that we both imagined. I’m very blessed to have a supportive partner who is on my side and engaged in this journey.

Perspective
Infertility makes you realize that nothing in life is promised. It has given me the perspective to see all the blessings in my life and be very grateful for them.

Hot Air Balloon Adventure

While hubby was traveling for work, my parents and my brother popped down for a visit. It was really nice to have them here to keep me company! We were finally able to go on a hot air ballon trip that we’d been planning for quite a while (weather was never right when we tried to go). It was SO fun! Thought I would share some photos. If you’re looking to take a hot air balloon ride on the Eastern Shore of MD (1 hour from DC) check out Delmarva Balloon Rides!

Blowing up the balloon

Blowing up the balloon

View from the basket

View from the basket

Beautiful view of the Eastern Shore of MD

Beautiful view of the Eastern Shore of MD

Balloon shadow

Balloon shadow

Hot air balloon 2

Balloon after we landed at sunset

Family after ballooning

Family after ballooning