Two years, two months, 17 days. This is the amount of time it took to see a positive pregnancy test. Hundreds of negative tests, thousands of tears. Countless hours spent wondering about the future, unsure if I would ever be where I am today. Many people have been in that dark place for much longer, or dealt with much worse. And many are still there.
After everything, it is hard to believe it is real. Have I graduated from this club that no one wants to belong to? Did I sneak out the back door in the nick of time? Now that the reality of being pregnant has really sunk in, I’ve been wondering where my voice fits in. I feel so connected to the emotions of others who are going through what I went through, but does my pregnancy status only cause pain in this community?
What I’ve ultimately decided is that infertility is such a huge part of me and my life experience, and it would feel disingenuous to just leave this all behind. Blogging help me immensely during my darkest times, and the support I’ve found here is amazing. I want to continue telling my story – hopefully a happier chapter. If you find hope from my infertility journey, please continue to follow me and share your story with me. But if reading my pregnancy updates causes you pain or makes your journey more difficult, I will completely understand if you choose to no longer follow.