Our second frozen embryo transfer went off without a hitch last week. I tolerated the medicines a lot better this time around, probably because my body was used to them from doing back-to-back cycles. I have been feeling a little down and having a hard time staying optimistic. I had a lot of confidence going into the first transfer and was caught off guard when the cycle didn’t work. This time feels a little bit more like going through the motions and trying not to let my heart get too attached.
We didn’t change the protocol from our first frozen transfer, and once again, the embryo thawed well and my lining was great at 9.44 five days before. Our RE gave us the choice if we wanted to transfer one or two embryos, but let us know that his recommendation was still to do a single embryo transfer. We decided to try just one again. For those keeping track, we’ll have two frozens left after this cycle.
I know many couples decide to transfer more than one embryo and I totally understand why. When you finally get so close to your dream of having children, you want to give yourself the best chance. It is also tempting for financial reasons. We thought it through but it just wasn’t the right choice for us. My clinic reports almost identical pregnancy rates from single and multiple transfers, so I couldn’t use that as justification. I’m very concerned about the risks of carrying twins, especially since I had my daughter early at 36 weeks. My RE said my early labor could have been totally random, but could also be a sign that my body doesn’t carry pregnancies to term. I’m also concerned about the risk of twins on my sanity. LOL! If this round doesn’t work, we’ll have to decide if we try both remaining embryos next time, or continue trying one by one. We have fingers and toes crossed that this time works and we’ll have two left to try for a third child down the road.
Today is 3dp6dt and I’ve been tracking my symptoms, which I’ll share either way in a follow up post. I’m a crazy POASer, so I’ll be starting that tomorrow, since 4dp6dt was when I got my first very faint positive with my daughter. Hanging in there (barely) is how I would describe the current scenario over here.
I haven’t been updating during my TWW because I’ve been trying to keep busy and not think too much about it. Easier said than done! I did test out my trigger shot with Wondfo strips, and it *seemed* to be out of my system on 7dpo. On 8dpo I had a very faint positive, but I tempered my excitement because I knew it could still be traces of my trigger. Since then, I’ve had negatives on 9dpo and this morning at 10dpo. My temperature has been all over the place as well.
I’m trying not to get upset, but this round was high stakes because it is our last IUI before we move on to IVF. It was also our first time using only injectables. Some days it feels like I’m just going through the motions and I’m not surprised by another negative cycle, but other days it cuts very deep and makes me extremely anxious and sad.
We had our second official IUI on June 7 (third round of meds, but our first cycle was canceled). I went a little crazy toward the end of the two week wait last cycle, and this time I’ve been trying SO HARD to keep myself busy and sane! I’m now at 10dpiui and starting to feel down. I tested out my trigger shot yesterday, and today there was no denying it was a BFN. I wish I could stop testing, but I really don’t think I can. I’ve never been into surprises and like to have all possible information at my fingertips. I would much rather be prepared than wait for the dreaded call from my nurse to know if this cycle worked. Anyone else feel this way?
Here’s what I’ve been doing to try to keep myself busy the past 1.5 weeks:
Elliptical and Reading
I’ve been working out on our elliptical every other day. I miss running, but my nurse suggested taking it easy with exercise during treatment cycles. I have been getting a lot of reading done this way! Any summer reading suggestions?
We’re in the beginning stages of remodeling our en suite master bath. I’ve been slacking on the planning, so hubby and I headed to the tile store to get some ideas and get the ball rolling.
I’ve been “working on” a photo gallery in our upstairs hallway for a very long time. I finally found some really interesting frames at Target (on sale!) and now I need to figure out all the photos. Will post pictures of the final product!
We’re planning a trip to Scotland and Ireland for August with my parents and I need to get moving on the itinerary. I’m my family’s unofficial travel agent, which I secretly love, so I’m excited to get my travel guides in the mail and get to work.
Furry House Guest
This little cutie has been staying with us this week while my parents are on vacation. Don’t you just love old dogs? We’re getting a feel for what it would be like to have two dogs!
Toby the lab
1-5 DPO – This is TOTALLY the cycle! I can feel it! I’m relaxed and feeling optimistic.
6-8DPO – I’m feeling cramps and pinches. This MUST be implantation! Tests are still turning up positive, which means HCG from the trigger is still in me.
8DPO – HCG is out of my system! Yippee! Tomorrow is the day for a real test.
9DPO – Take a test. Do I see a line? Look at the test in natural light, in a photo that I took of it, in a tweaked photo that I took of it. Ask hubby. Ask random people online. I am crazy. Finally decide that indeed, there is NO line. BFN. Devastation. Tears. I know it is too early, but I can’t help the irrational sadness.
10DPO – BFN. Again. Starting to lose hope and crawl into my deep, dark place.
11DPO – My temperature is dropping and my boobs hurt. Another BFN. Feeling the same that I do every month at this time, which means I need to accept that this wasn’t the cycle. Give myself the big girl talk about force myself to let it go. Throw away my collection of this month’s dip strips.
I’m now at 12DPO and making plans for our next IUI cycle. Hubby is traveling for work starting this weekend, so we’ve decided to go the frozen sperm route this time around. Not feeling great about it, but also didn’t want to miss another cycle of trying due to travel schedules. I realize there is still a glimmer of hope at this point, but I’m also realistic. Curious to know if others become similarly crazy each month. I’m a ball of emotions from 6-11DPO, but then the second I feel/know I’m out, I’m ready to turn the page and move along with the next cycle.
The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you get one more yard
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part
-Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
I’m now more than a week past my IUI (8dpo) and the waiting gets harder every day! My mom and I had a great girls weekend in Charleston and that helped me relax and take my mind off things, but now I’m back to the daily waiting and wondering. I’ve been testing out my trigger shot and this morning was the first test that showed up negative. Crazy that hcg hangs around in your system for that long! I haven’t experienced any symptoms above and beyond minor cramping and fatigue that I’ve learned not to give any merit to. I did start with a bad sinus cold earlier this week that I’m still battling.
We found out this week that my hubby has to travel internationally again for work during our next treatment cycle, meaning if this one doesn’t work, we’ll need to consider freezing a sample and going that route. Anyone have experience with using frozen sperm for IUI? I think we would rather do that than put things on hold.